I am surrounded by so much beauty

I was watching several church-made inspirational films and I re-read 3 Nephi 17 when Christ blessed the children. I was touched by these verses and personally felt God's love for us when I watched it. I want so much to be closer to God and understand the scriptures more completely. It can be so easy to become distracted and fall into temptation. I am so glad I am at BYU-Idaho going to school. I have learned so much about my faith and my personal love for God and this church. I look around and see so much beauty; beauty that God put on this earth for me to enjoy and appreciate. These simple thoughts and experiences mean so much to me. I try to think about things more. Subtle things; things that others might not realize at first. I noticed the other day, how beautiful our temple looks on the hill. It was white and standing high on the top of a hill on campus. It was snowing at the time, and I couldn't help but stop and appreciate the beauty of the sacred place. I am also becoming particularly fond of the hymn, "Nearer my God to Thee." It is such a beautiful hymn. I like the piano version by paul cardall.

I am in a small struggle right now, I feel that I should delete most of my music from my computer. The music that I have really isn't uplifting in any way, and I think probably the most detrimental thing in my life right now. I listen to hard, angry music when I lift. It propels my lifts to be harder and more intense, but at what cost? I don't think that God would want me listening to that kind of music, but its hard to just delete all of it from my hard drive. I am struggling with this. I know its the right thing to do, but it is hard to do...

So today... I had a good lift.

I generally go to the gym every other day (MWFS) and work various body parts. I went to the gym today and had a monster lift. I put up 320 on decline and it felt so amazing. I pushed more weight than I ever had before. I felt so good the entire time. I'm also a personal trainer for the school, so I'm very involved with the athletic program and activities within it. I have such a passion for this sport. I don't want to be competitive like in competitions but I just want to do this for me. I love that I can go whenever I want to and can have this positive thing in my life..

Taking up My cross

I was reading in Alma 39 and 3 Nephi 12, and found verses that referred to each other. In these verses it mentions that it would be so much better to me that I should deny myself of these worldly things mentioned and "take up my cross" than to be cast into hell and choose not to dwell in the presence of God. I had read these verses before, but when I read them this time, they had a different meaning. I'm not sure if it was that I am more mature now, or that I am more prepared to understand this information. Yesterday, I stayed up all night reading the Book of Mormon. I am so grateful to have that book to refer to and learn from. I read about the atonement, Christ's love for us, and our mission here on earth. I began to realize how significant the atonement really is. I realized how blessed we are to have a savior who would take his perfect life and sacrifice everything for us so that we can be resurrected and break the bands of death.. I am in a Missionary Prep. Book of Mormon class and I am learning so much just through my teacher's discussions. I find myself becoming completely absorbed in the discussion and learning so much. I feel as if I am really preparing for my mission. I am realizing now that I am active and following God's plan of salvation for us because I want to become a better person, mature, and take responsibility for myself. Yesterday, while I was reading and praying about a lot of things, I think I really began to realize how precious we all are to Christ and our Heavenly Father. This world is a horrible and corrupt place, but it can also be as a heaven on earth. Making bad decisions as a teenager might seem cool or exciting now, but we so easily forget how we came to be here and where we are going. We were once little children, beautiful and precious in the eyes of God. We will also one day become old and will become as children again, humble and meek. This time in-between is only a phase we must overcome, it can be one of the most difficult, but we must strive to hold to the Iron Rod. We are here on this earth for a purpose, to learn as much as we can and prepare to meet God again. If we follow His teachings and love we can be as He is in an eternal realm. I want so much, when I see Him again, to be worthy of His words, "well done my good and faithful servant." I used to be embarrassed about some of the things of the church for several reasons, but now I realize that those influences were from satan, trying to draw me away from the path. I strayed from the path for a time. I felt so much weight and guilt lifted from my shoulders last night. It was as if I had a load literally lifted from my shoulders. I do not ever want to forget what that feels like. I cried from having the powerful and beautiful experience. I do not ever want to stray from the path again. This is a beautiful church, people, and even world if we follow God's plan for us. We are constantly surrounded by so much beauty and love. I felt the Holy Ghost so strongly when I was praying and reading my scriptures. I realize why I am here and how I can learn and grow here on earth. I am so grateful for God's perfect plan which allows us to return to Him. I feel so blessed with the opportunity to become as He is. I will strive every day to be clean and worthy of his blessings and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. I want to be clean and know that I am worthy to enter the Temple, take the sacrament, and receive guidance. It doesn't matter what happens to us in this life. It doesn't matter what happens to anyone. We will all someday be resurrected and receive immortal bodies which no one will be able to take away from us. I just know that if I do everything I know I should do, I will be blessed and all doubt will leave my mind. I have doubts every once in a while.. But I now know that those doubts were caused by satan, trying to influence me and pull me away from the path... I only want to do good continually and be always abounding in good works. I know that my church is true. I know that I can someday return to my Heavenly Parents, and if I do all that I must do, I may become like them.. I live for this promise. I will even die for this promise if I must. I only care for what I must do to return to Him with Honor. So, as I have been taught, I will take up my cross...and endure to the end....

Maine '09

This Christmas break my family and I took a trip to Maine to spend Christmas with my cousins and their family. My grandma, mom, my brother, and I all rode in the car together (a recipe for…well…some interesting situations). We took my grandma’s CR-V and attached the car-top carrier to allow us to have more room to bring more junk with us. The CR-V doesn’t have a roof rack, so I had to settle on attaching the carrier to the frame of the car and wrapping a black strap all the way around the car (which went around the roof of the car as well). We left on Wednesday at around 3:00 despite my mom and grandma’s best efforts to leave earlier. I was doing a lot of packing not only for the trip to Maine but also for my move to Idaho (more on how that’s going later). I drove for the first 4 hours or so, despite not getting nearly enough sleep the night before, and got us through New York with no problems (even though there was some major traffic, and several slightly confused “navigators”). I tried to sleep for the rest of the ride, and we made it to Maine by 4:00 that night (four in the morning), which doesn’t sound like very good time, but keep in mind we hit some major holiday traffic). Christmas Eve was enjoyable, good food for dinner, and good company. Then most of “the cousins” sat down in the family room and watched a few movies together. I was tired so I laid down on the couch and fell asleep until I woke up because I was feeling nauseous. I quickly realized that this was not going to be a passing feeling, and darted for the guest bathroom where I promptly got sick. I was up the rest of the night with food poisoning. It wasn’t as bad as a previous case, however, I was very tired for Christmas day and slept through most of it (only being awake for opening presents, per request of my mom, and movies that night with the cousins). I mainly received presents that would be things I would need at college (which was exactly what I wanted and needed at the time), but my mom was also helping with money to get me out to Idaho, housing, etc. The day after Christmas, I was feeling much better and was able to eat and have fun with the rest of the family as usual (that, I am very grateful for). We left early Sunday morning and stopped in Freeport to do some shopping. I’m glad the L.L. Bean store there is open 24 hours because I was able to buy a new fleece jacket, boots, and gloves all at one place at 7:30 in the morning. Remember, I mentioned that we strapped the car-top carrier down through the car? Well, the straps evidently compromised the waterproof design of the door, and made the seat, and the door soaking wet. My brother was in the back seat at the time and completely miserable. We got some towels to try to absorb the water and keep it from dripping (even though I think we should’ve used a silicone or Teflon coat instead….but that’s just what I would’ve done). I drove from Maine to Albany, NY that day (about 9 hours). We hit major traffic at some parts, but no accidents (since that’s what’s important), so the trip back was good. When I got home, I chilled with my brother and his friends until it got late, then went to my bed and slept in it for the last time..

BYU-Idaho

I was recently accepted into BYU-Idaho and plan on beginning classes in September of 2009. I am on the winter/spring track, which means I have full time classes during winter and spring semesters only. I can take evening or online courses but I’m not sure if I want to pursue that option yet. I am looking into the prospective missionary program right now which is a program for prospective missionaries who are on the winter/spring track, and have a birthday between Nov. 1st and April 30th. Basically, it’s a way for people who are going on a mission to complete as many classes as possible before they receive their mission call. I’m hoping I can finish winter semester too though because I probably won’t get my mission call until, at the earliest, February of 2010, so hopefully I won’t have to report to the MTC until after finals (last day of winter semester is April 10th).

Through the PMP I’ll take several religious classes and a communication class as part of a core mission preparation course which will help prepare for a mission. The courses are:

Religion 130 - Mission Preparation (2 credits)
Religion 221 - Book of Mormon for Prospective Missionaries (4 credits)
Communication 150 - Interpersonal Theory and Practice (3 credits)

I didn’t even really know about this program until I read my acceptance letter which mentioned it, which is surprising because I was all over the BYU-Idaho site when I was researching for my essay and application.

I’m still doing everything I can with financial aid. I’m almost done with my FAFSA application so once I finish that I should be able to register for the PMP and classes for fall semester in June..

Graduation

My graduation in on May 29th. Some of my family are traveling down for the graduation and for the wedding of my Grandpop to his Fiancée, Iris. My Aunt Lisa and Aunt Mary are coming as well as my Mom and Grandmom. The wedding is going to be on May 30th so it’ll be a busy week..

Spring Break (April 12th - 19th)

I was going to go to Jacksonville, Florida for spring break but plans changed and only 3 people were going so I decided I would't either. We had been planning the trip for a while but things fell apart about a week before we were supposed to go so we’re just staying here and maybe going camping or to the lake for a few days. I want to go repelling at least once, so I’m trying to make those plans now. Either way, I’m sure it’ll be fun and relaxing. It also gives me time to find a summer job here and possibly start working (which would be the best outcome). I’m thinking that the best-paying and probably most interesting job I could have here would be something in boat repair so I’ve been preparing a resume and cover letter to present to the parts and services manager at a local Marine when I go in to apply..