I am surrounded by so much beauty

I was watching several church-made inspirational films and I re-read 3 Nephi 17 when Christ blessed the children. I was touched by these verses and personally felt God's love for us when I watched it. I want so much to be closer to God and understand the scriptures more completely. It can be so easy to become distracted and fall into temptation. I am so glad I am at BYU-Idaho going to school. I have learned so much about my faith and my personal love for God and this church. I look around and see so much beauty; beauty that God put on this earth for me to enjoy and appreciate. These simple thoughts and experiences mean so much to me. I try to think about things more. Subtle things; things that others might not realize at first. I noticed the other day, how beautiful our temple looks on the hill. It was white and standing high on the top of a hill on campus. It was snowing at the time, and I couldn't help but stop and appreciate the beauty of the sacred place. I am also becoming particularly fond of the hymn, "Nearer my God to Thee." It is such a beautiful hymn. I like the piano version by paul cardall.

I am in a small struggle right now, I feel that I should delete most of my music from my computer. The music that I have really isn't uplifting in any way, and I think probably the most detrimental thing in my life right now. I listen to hard, angry music when I lift. It propels my lifts to be harder and more intense, but at what cost? I don't think that God would want me listening to that kind of music, but its hard to just delete all of it from my hard drive. I am struggling with this. I know its the right thing to do, but it is hard to do...

So today... I had a good lift.

I generally go to the gym every other day (MWFS) and work various body parts. I went to the gym today and had a monster lift. I put up 320 on decline and it felt so amazing. I pushed more weight than I ever had before. I felt so good the entire time. I'm also a personal trainer for the school, so I'm very involved with the athletic program and activities within it. I have such a passion for this sport. I don't want to be competitive like in competitions but I just want to do this for me. I love that I can go whenever I want to and can have this positive thing in my life..

Taking up My cross

I was reading in Alma 39 and 3 Nephi 12, and found verses that referred to each other. In these verses it mentions that it would be so much better to me that I should deny myself of these worldly things mentioned and "take up my cross" than to be cast into hell and choose not to dwell in the presence of God. I had read these verses before, but when I read them this time, they had a different meaning. I'm not sure if it was that I am more mature now, or that I am more prepared to understand this information. Yesterday, I stayed up all night reading the Book of Mormon. I am so grateful to have that book to refer to and learn from. I read about the atonement, Christ's love for us, and our mission here on earth. I began to realize how significant the atonement really is. I realized how blessed we are to have a savior who would take his perfect life and sacrifice everything for us so that we can be resurrected and break the bands of death.. I am in a Missionary Prep. Book of Mormon class and I am learning so much just through my teacher's discussions. I find myself becoming completely absorbed in the discussion and learning so much. I feel as if I am really preparing for my mission. I am realizing now that I am active and following God's plan of salvation for us because I want to become a better person, mature, and take responsibility for myself. Yesterday, while I was reading and praying about a lot of things, I think I really began to realize how precious we all are to Christ and our Heavenly Father. This world is a horrible and corrupt place, but it can also be as a heaven on earth. Making bad decisions as a teenager might seem cool or exciting now, but we so easily forget how we came to be here and where we are going. We were once little children, beautiful and precious in the eyes of God. We will also one day become old and will become as children again, humble and meek. This time in-between is only a phase we must overcome, it can be one of the most difficult, but we must strive to hold to the Iron Rod. We are here on this earth for a purpose, to learn as much as we can and prepare to meet God again. If we follow His teachings and love we can be as He is in an eternal realm. I want so much, when I see Him again, to be worthy of His words, "well done my good and faithful servant." I used to be embarrassed about some of the things of the church for several reasons, but now I realize that those influences were from satan, trying to draw me away from the path. I strayed from the path for a time. I felt so much weight and guilt lifted from my shoulders last night. It was as if I had a load literally lifted from my shoulders. I do not ever want to forget what that feels like. I cried from having the powerful and beautiful experience. I do not ever want to stray from the path again. This is a beautiful church, people, and even world if we follow God's plan for us. We are constantly surrounded by so much beauty and love. I felt the Holy Ghost so strongly when I was praying and reading my scriptures. I realize why I am here and how I can learn and grow here on earth. I am so grateful for God's perfect plan which allows us to return to Him. I feel so blessed with the opportunity to become as He is. I will strive every day to be clean and worthy of his blessings and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. I want to be clean and know that I am worthy to enter the Temple, take the sacrament, and receive guidance. It doesn't matter what happens to us in this life. It doesn't matter what happens to anyone. We will all someday be resurrected and receive immortal bodies which no one will be able to take away from us. I just know that if I do everything I know I should do, I will be blessed and all doubt will leave my mind. I have doubts every once in a while.. But I now know that those doubts were caused by satan, trying to influence me and pull me away from the path... I only want to do good continually and be always abounding in good works. I know that my church is true. I know that I can someday return to my Heavenly Parents, and if I do all that I must do, I may become like them.. I live for this promise. I will even die for this promise if I must. I only care for what I must do to return to Him with Honor. So, as I have been taught, I will take up my cross...and endure to the end....